Empower Your Child Through Their Own Choice Making
Pictures—Please include 2 pictures that are focused on:
- Child independently doing something (picking out clothes, pointing to something they are selecting
- Child & parent having a conversation (happy, engaged) (as though parent is asking “what choice will you make? I support you.”)
Empower Your Child Through Their Own Choice-Making
Because Every Little Decision Builds Their Future
Want to Raise Confident Kids? Start with Everyday Choices
__“Mom, can I get ice cream? What flavor should I get? I’m going to try all 27 flavors.” __
__“Mom, when should I start my school project?” __
“Hey, Dad, what can I make for breakfast?”
__“Mom. Dad. I have no idea what classes I want to take. I’m so overwhelmed.” __
Sound familiar? It sometimes feels like all we do is answer questions and make decisions for our kids, doesn’t it?
Hey, it’s amazing that our children want our opinions about things. After all, we are here to guide them on this journey.
But here’s the truth — kids are more capable of making their own decisions than we usually give them credit for, even from a very young age. And not only can they make decisions, but they should.
Sure, it might feel easier to just make decisions for them, especially when the line at that ice cream shop is building, and you’re beginning to sweat a little because they really do want to try all 27 flavors. But if we make their decisions just for our convenience, we are holding our kids back from developing crucial life skills.
So before you find yourself panicking over ice cream, think about building and stacking decision-making skills with your child in their day-to-day life. This means giving your child the space to make choices. Even with the little asks every day. Even when it makes you uncomfortable or scared.
When we let our kids make decisions, we’re not just giving ourselves a break from constant decision-making (because, let’s be real… that’s exhausting!); we’re teaching them a crucial life skill — how to guide themselves. Every time they choose what to wear or what book to pick out at the library, they’re building awareness for bigger life decisions, like choosing what passions to pursue or picking sports teams to try out for.
Guiding your kids to make their own choices ignites their inner awareness and empowers them to feel confident, capable and believe in themselves. This sets them up for success and gives them the tools to create their most fulfilling life.
Deciding What You Want For Dinner Can Shape Your Destiny
Take a big leap with me here and imagine this: Your child making tons of small choices every day…
- At 4 years old, they’re picking out what to wear every single morning.
- At 6 years old, they’re ordering breakfast off the menu at your local coffee shop.
- At 12 years old, they’re deciding on a topic for a school project.
All the while, they feel proud and excited about their choices. Now, fast-forward a few years, and that same confidence helps your child find their true North in life. These little decisions are the stepping stones to making bigger life choices with confidence and ease.
The Responsibility Pillar: The Path to Empowered Choices
When I was developing the Happy Life System, I knew there needed to be a pillar that focused on the importance of taking ownership of life and building a path to happiness. That’s why I created the Responsibility Pillar. This pillar focuses on mastering self-responsibility, which means understanding that the choices you make bring value and benefit to your life.
When kids make their own everyday choices, they start to trust their own judgment and feel more in control of their lives.__ It creates a “yes I can” mentality__ — *Yes, I can decide what I want to cook. Yes, I can apply for the job I want. Yes, I can choose what my plans are for the future. *
So when your child decides to try out for the lead role in a play or sign up for a 5K race, the confidence they gained from choosing what they wanted for dinner when they were young now fuels their courage to tackle bigger challenges. It’s all connected.
Be the GPS, Not the Driver
A positive parenting tip for you? As parents, our job is to guide our children, not to make every decision for them. By giving them the freedom to make choices, we’re setting our kids up for a future of confident, happy decision-making.
A great place to start is with this phrase that I always come back to: “You have the power to make the best choice for you right now.”
Here’s a Step-by-Step Guide to Help Your Child Make Their Own Choices:
Step 1 — Set the Stage:
Start small. Have conversations with your children about how making decisions means they are the leader of their own life. Do they want carrots or cucumbers with lunch? What game would they like to play next? What should they plan to do after dinner and before bed? These small choices all matter. Let your kids make these everyday decisions and watch how it stacks up for them.
Step 2 — Guide, Don’t Make All the Choices:
Encourage them to think about their choices. Ask questions like:
👉 “Why do you think this is the best option?”
👉 "How will this choice make you feel?”
👉 “Why will this choice benefit your life?”
These questions will help your child expand their awareness to be able to reflect and take time to think things through. Each question can be asked for small and big choices they face.
Step 3 — Celebrate Their Decisions:
Celebrate the choices they make. High-five, hug, have a spontaneous
dance party. These moments may seem small, but showing your child that making
choices for themselves matters is such an important part of the process.
By celebrating when they make a choice, you are helping wire the brain
so they understand they are capable of making decisions. This reinforces the idea that making choices for themselves is beneficial and boosts their confidence. It teaches them that their actions have positive outcomes and encourages them to continue making
thoughtful decisions.
Empowerment is a Journey, Not a Destination
Here’s the thing: we need to allow our children to walk their own path by making their own choices. And when you hold space for your children to share their thoughts and learn from what they do, you’re empowering them to be confident and independent.
It starts with the small choices they make and turns into major life decisions. Just keep in mind that empowerment is a journey, not a destination.
The blog always has tons of my empowering parenting tips for you. Please always feel free to share with me how your parenting journey is going. I’m here for you!