How to Empower Children When They Make a Mistake

April 23, 2025•

The Secret to Raising Resilient Kids

Make “Oops” an Opportunity

“Oops, I left my homework at school again.” — “It’s okay.”

“I spilled my cup of juice on the couch.” — “Why would you do that? You are in so much trouble.”

“I ate all that candy, and now I feel awful.” — “That’s your fault. You should have listened to me.”

Any of these sound familiar?

It can be incredibly hard seeing your child make a mistake and even harder to know the “right” way to respond.

Let’s dive deeper into the potential outcomes that could result from these typical parenting responses when our kids make mistakes.

“It’s okay” is a response we all make. As parents, we’re there to reassure our kids. So saying that quick okay might feel like it makes you both feel better. And maybe it does, but that’s likely for only a moment.
Making your child feel like they are in trouble for making a mistake may feel like you are teaching them by correcting “bad” behavior. But this is often done out of anger and can break down the trust you build with your child, teaching them to hide things from you. When kids feel they can’t come to us with their mistakes, that’s when fear takes place rather than growth.
Telling your kid that they should just listen to you comes from a place of wanting them to honor your words. But what that can do is make them look to you to solve all their issues or challenges.

According to a recent article, if we view our children’s mistakes in a negative way, we risk making a lasting impact on how they view their own intelligence.

We are all human, and we all make mistakes. It’s going to happen. In fact, we HAVE to make mistakes to grow. It’s so important for us as parents to remember that testing boundaries and making mistakes are all a part of the human process. The number one key to turn a mistake into an opportunity is with our response.

So, the next time your child comes to you and shares that they’ve made a mistake, let me give you some of my best parenting advice—I want to challenge you to sit in this discomfort with your child because, as strange as that sounds, that’s where the magic happens. Instead of just saying, “It’s okay,” or getting upset, support them in seeing their mistake as an opportunity to grow.

A study from Michigan State University shows that helping children view mistakes as opportunities for growth can enhance their learning and resilience. Encouraging your kids to learn from their choices, rather than avoiding them, has such a big impact on how they’ll continue to show up in the world.

*Ready to learn more about this approach, which not only builds resilience but also empowers your child to keep pushing forward even when they make a mistake? Keep reading! *

Reframe and Reflect: Getting Beyond “It’s Okay”

So, how do we talk to our kids during the tough moments?

Our words make a huge difference in how our children view their mistakes. We’ve got to tap into some empowering parenting to change the narrative and create a positive mindset, focusing on more than “that’s okay.”

Here’s how:

3 Ways to Create a Safe Space for Mistakes

__Talk Openly About Mistakes: __One of the most powerful things I did as a mom was go to my kids and say, “Hey, I was trying something, and it didn’t work out. I’m human and make mistakes too.” It opened the door for more honest, heart-to-heart communication to happen with my children. After all, empowering parenting leads to empowered kids. Make it a habit to talk openly about mistakes in your home. Share your own mistakes with your family, talk about what you learned, and watch how your children will learn from you and apply it to their lives.
Encourage Reflection: Help your child reflect on their mistakes and talk about new strategies for the future. Ask questions like, “What can we do differently next time?” and “What is your plan to prevent this from happening again?” This helps spark their imagination to create solutions and expand their awareness so that they can grow from the experience.
__Change the Narrative: __Teach your child to reframe their thoughts and how they speak to themselves in these situations. Instead of “I can’t do this,” encourage them to say, “I’m getting closer to getting this right.” And model using phrases that promote growth, like “As long as I learn from what I’m doing, this is helping me grow.”

Raising Resilient Humans: Why It Matters

To me, raising resilient kids is the goal. Because resilient children turn into self-confident, capable adults, ready to take on the world! It helps them overcome challenges easier, pursue big dreams, and approach their life with curiosity and empowerment, leading them to live a more fulfilled, happy life. And that’s what we all want, right?

How you support and guide your child through their mistakes helps build resiliency within themselves. It’s the difference between that mistake happening over and over again… or your child learning from their mistakes, expanding their awareness, and creating a different outcome in the future.

Being a guide and support for your kids after they make a mistake by acknowledging it and helping them grow from it will:

Build resilience — When children see mistakes as learning opportunities, they become more resilient. They aren’t afraid to make bold choices, and they also have a better understanding of how to navigate similar situations in the future.
__Give them more control __— Avoid hovering and overmanaging (AKA being a helicopter parent). Give your children space to make mistakes and learn from them. They’ll feel empowered and supported.
Help them in the short and long term — Understanding the reasons behind mistakes expands their awareness and helps them make better choices in the future.

__*It’s not about preventing mistakes but about teaching our children how to learn and grow from them. *__This approach helps raise resilient, confident humans who see mistakes as opportunities to grow.

If you’re searching for more happy parenting tips and ways to incorporate positive parenting techniques into your days, I’m here for you! Continue to come back and check out the blogs or find me on Instagram for more!