How to Stop Doing Everything For Your Kids Right Now

April 23, 2025•

Pictures—Please include 2 pictures that are focused on:

Child doing something on their own and looking happy about it (packing lunch, cooking, cleaning, etc)

Empowering Your Children to Be Independent

The Parent Trap

Did you know that, [according to recent research](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/parenting-in-america-today/#:~:text=About%20four%2Din%2Dten%20parents,and%20stressful%20(33%25%20vs.), 41% of parents find being a parent tiring, and 29% find it stressful most or all of the time?

And, sure, this makes sense. No one has ever shouted from the rooftops, “Hey! This parenting thing? It’s soooo easy!”

Do you know what one of the biggest stressors is that leads to parent burnout? Handling all of your kids’ responsibilities. We’re talking about:

Packing lunches
Cooking meals
Doing laundry
Cleaning bedrooms
Setting reminders about school deadlines

The list goes on. and. on.

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of handling all your children’s responsibilities, but this can hold them back from reaching their potential and lead to more chaos, feeling like you are being pulled in every direction, and, ultimately, an unhappy home.

But I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t have to be this way. Parenting shouldn’t be a grind or have you feeling exhausted every single moment of every single day. In fact, I’m going to be so bold to say that parenting, though not necessarily ‘easy,’ is a gift that should be enjoyed. And I *will *shout that from the rooftops!

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by doing everything for your kids, you’ve got to stop thinking of yourself as the manager of their lives. It doesn’t help you or your children. I want you to instead, start thinking of yourself as their mentor and guide, helping them become more self-sufficient so that they become the managers of their own lives.

The Power of Letting Go

From a young age, children are often capable of so much more than we give them credit for. They want to do things for themselves and feel the joy of responsibility.

Ever see those videos or hear about a child that is still in diapers cutting their own fruit or cracking eggs into bowls or doing the dishes? These really shouldn’t be examples of the outliers; they should be more of the norm.

So, let’s think about a common situation for many families. Say your child has soccer practice five times a week; a great move would be not packing their soccer bag for them. Why should it be your responsibility? Instead, support them in learning how to do it themselves. And a big key here is to explain the reason behind what they need to pack (e.g., a water bottle for hydration, a banana for energy). By doing this, you’re helping them see the full picture and understand the importance of these tasks, not just saying, “Hey, do this because I said so.”

Encouraging Independence

As always, I’m going to suggest you start small. Suddenly giving up on doing all the things for your children tomorrow might have some interesting shock and awe value, but it’s not going to set anyone up for success.

Letting go of things on your plate doesn’t mean abandoning your kids to figure everything out on their own. It means gradually stepping back and allowing them to take on responsibilities while you provide guidance and support.

The goal is to build up their confidence and help them figure out how to handle situations in their own ways. When they make mistakes—and they will—use those moments as learning opportunities. Talk about what went wrong, why it happened, and how they can change things up next time. This not only teaches them resilience but also shows that you trust them to handle things for themselves.

Here are some steps to help your children take on more responsibility:

1.__ Empower Your Child’s Independence__—Ask your kids what they’d like to do. And make it exciting! Take them around the house and let them pick out the tasks that interest them. Maybe they want to pack their lunch or choose their clothes for the day. Let them start with something they feel confident about. As they get the hang of it, they’ll feel accomplished and empowered. Then, start stacking more responsibilities. Tell them, “You are the manager of your life now. Tell me what you’d like to handle on your own.”

2. Be Patient—It’s tempting to step in when things aren’t done just the way you want them to be, but resist this urge. Allow your kids to learn and gain insights through taking things on in their own way.

3.__ Celebrate__—Acknowledge their efforts and successes, no matter how small. High-five over folded laundry, have a dance party when they pack their bag for school the next day, hug it out over getting to practice on time. It all matters!

By empowering your children to take on more responsibilities, you’re not just lightening your own load—you’re setting them up for a happier, more fulfilled future.

Raising Capable, Happy Humans

Giving up control can be tough, but so is feeling like you’re climbing a mountain every day to check off things on your to-do list and your kids’ to-do list. By allowing your children to take responsibility and learn from their experiences, you’re helping them grow into capable, independent, and confident humans.

If you’re ready to stop doing it all and let your kids step into their own greatness, there’s no better time to start than today. Remember, you’re not just raising kids—you’re raising future adults who will thank you for these life lessons. You’ve got this!

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