Take Control of Your Parenting Part II

April 23, 2025•

Pictures—Please include 2-3 pictures that are focused on:

Child doing something that would earn them $ (lemonade stand, mowing lawn, doing yard work, helping in neighborhood)
Happy family doing everyday things

If You Are Doing These Things… STOP

Welcome to Take Control of Your Parenting Part II. If you're ready to learn more about shedding habits that aren’t working for you and your family and you want to take actions to create positive alternatives, then I’ve got three things you can change right now to feel happier in your role as a parent. And be sure to head over to Take Control of Your Parenting Part I if you missed that one to learn more.

Parenting can feel like a roller coaster sometimes. There are moments when you feel like you’re on the right path and others when you’re left questioning every decision you’ve made. It’s natural to feel stuck, unsure of the next right move, when you’re in the chaos of everyday life.

But don’t worry, I’ve got some tips to turn the chaos into harmony so you can enjoy the ride of parenting–through all the twists and turns.

And I promise, it isn’t some fairy-tale dream—it’s within your reach and waiting to be unlocked through your daily habits. So, if you’re tired of feeling like every day is a struggle and you’re longing for more ease and joy in your life as a parent, let’s shake things up a bit.

These are 3 things to stop doing now to be a happier parent:

Trying to please your kids instead of teaching them values.
Giving your kids money.
Using force and fear to get your kids to agree or listen to you.

Replace Pleasing with Teaching

Ever find yourself constantly giving in to your kids’ demands just to keep them happy in the moment? Here’s the truth: it’s a quick fix that will ultimately leave you feeling drained and uncertain if you’re really helping them in the long run.

But here’s the real deal: parenting isn’t about giving in to every whim. It’s about guiding and teaching your children to become their best selves.

So, instead of focusing on meeting external expectations, let’s shift your mindset and theirs to prioritize personal growth and a positive attitude in everything you do. This will help you to raise children who are empowered and unlock true happiness in your home.

What to Stop: Prioritizing your children’s momentary happiness over teaching important life values.

What to Do Instead: Add structure and routines to your day and focus on open communication. Having a consistent plan for your days sets the tone for your family and for everyone to know what to expect. And leveling up your communication with your kids means everyone feels valued and heard. Talk with your children about their goals and what they want to work towards, whether it’s finishing their homework before playtime or helping out around the house. Then, when they put in the effort and reach those goals, celebrate it! Maybe it’s a movie night or a special outing they’ve been wanting. Whatever it is, make sure they know their positive choices benefit themselves and the world around them, and these decisions don’t go unnoticed.

Raising Financially Savvy Kids

Do you find yourself constantly giving your kids cash for every outing or buying them whatever they want? Well, here’s the thing: giving your kids money doesn’t teach them much about the value of earning it.

And it’s essential to support our children in the understanding that things aren’t just handed to us. As parents, we need to guide our kids to see that our actions create the outcomes in our lives.

When your kids buy their own things, they’re not just getting possessions—they’re building their own lives. They’re creating independence and making incredible choices that shape their future.

I want you to change things up and show your children the ropes of responsibility. As parents, our real magic lies in helping our kids embrace making responsible choices and finding joy in them! That “Yes, I Can” attitude? It's the secret sauce of the__ Happy Life System__!

Ready to shift the focus from simply handing out money and paying for everything to empowering your children to take ownership of their finances and their lives?

What to Stop: Handing out money without teaching your children the value of earning it through effort and responsibility.

What to Do Instead: Instead of just handing over cash, talk with your child about their goals—like saving up for a new toy, bike, or game. Talk about ways they would like to contribute to earn money for the things they want. Let them be a part of the process. By linking their earnings to their goals, you’re showing them the importance of hard work and sticking with it. When they reach those milestones, celebrate together!

Lead by Inspiration, Not Intimidation

I want to share with you a typical moment in my home—two of my kids happily folding and sorting laundry without being asked.

And this isn’t because they were coerced or yelled at to do something. My children genuinely engage in helping with tasks like this because they want to be a part of it.

How does this happen?

There’s something I call the push and pull state. If you’re forcing your kid to do something—to clean their room, to eat their vegetables—you’re pushing them to create a desired outcome that you want. But when you have a child in the pull state, they’re intrinsically motivated to accomplish something or do something. And this is because they understand the outcome. You want to support your child to be in this pull state as much as possible—to be responsible for their own lives, not just because you or someone else in their life wants them to do something.

__What to Stop: __Using force and fear to enforce rules or get children to listen.

What to Do Instead: Be a mentor, role model, and friend to your child. Foster understanding and respect in your family. Instead of intimidation, give your children room to master skills and learn from mistakes. Empower them to take on responsibilities that shape their lives. Connect deeply by listening, validating feelings, and communicating openly. Provide them a framework to make choices, and then give them the freedom within that framework to make their own decisions, nurturing independence and trust.

Rewriting the Rules for Parenting Happiness

In the whirlwind of parenting, it’s easy to feel lost at times.

But I want you to know that happiness in your parenting journey isn’t just a distant dream; it’s right within your grasp.

By breaking free from these three habits—pleasing your kids, handing out money without any context, and resorting to intimidation—you can transform your parenting journey into one filled with joy and connection.

As a parent, it’s your role to help your child in discovering their greatness by instilling values and providing experiences that teach them how to support themselves and nurture their well-being.

You’ve got this!

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