When Your Kids Are Out of Control

April 23, 2025•

How To Get Through To Your Kids In Chaotic Moments

Navigating the Chaos

Parenting can be overwhelming, right? One minute, you’re cruising, and the next, it feels like the wheels are coming off.

If you’re reading this, maybe it’s because your kids often feel out of control. Maybe they’re constantly arguing with you, not following directions, or just creating what feels like a tornado in your home. Are you searching through books about parenting, trying to find the best parenting advice, and wondering where that end-all-be-all parenting guide book is? You’re not alone. But this doesn’t have to be a norm you accept.

Many parents think misbehavior is just part of the deal with parenting. And sure, kids have moments where they push boundaries and have big feelings they’re navigating as they develop. But what I want you to know is that you don’t just have to white-knuckle these phases of life as a parent.

Here’s the hard truth… When kids are out of control, it’s usually because:

You’re letting them run the show
You don’t have structures in place

Kids want routine and predictability. They need a foundation to feel safe and secure.

As a young mom, I quickly learned the importance of having systems, beliefs, and a strong foundation established in our home. These practices didn’t just help manage the chaos—they brought harmony into our lives. And honestly, thank goodness for that because while I love a good time, being the ringmaster of a circus every day wasn’t exactly what I envisioned for my parenting journey.

And when I say words like boundaries and predictability, this doesn’t mean doing the same thing every single day. What it does mean is having family values and simple routines in place that will make a huge difference in your home. Ones that you can turn to when things are going smoothly and ones that you can turn to when things feel overwhelming.

Leaning on a routine helps kids know what to expect and feel secure in their environment. (Think things like: who helps do what at home, when screens are allowed, what the routine is after school, that kind of stuff.)

So, keep reading to learn more about a practice I turn to time and time again when my kids and I need a reset with big feelings that are coming up or how our day is playing out. It's simple, and it works! I want you to have this practice in your back pocket to use whenever you need it. When things get overwhelming, having a go-to strategy can really help bring balance and calm back into your home.

Don’t Freak Out, Tune In

As a parent, I’ve always focused on parenting in a way that honors what my kids are going through emotionally. Babies, toddlers, children, teenagers (and let’s be real, adults) all have big feelings, and it’s essential to recognize and validate those feelings rather than just reacting to their behavior.

So, instead of lashing out or getting annoyed when there are chaotic moments that pop up in my home, I’ve developed practices that help me and my kids handle tough moments. One of my go-to strategies is something I’m sharing with you today.

The Freeze Game (Because Shouting Doesn’t Work)

Here’s a fun and effective game that can help bring peace and mindfulness to your home.

Instead of saying, __"Stop it!" __try pressing the pause button on the situation, like you're playing a game of freeze.

Gamifying life makes it more joyful and engaging for both parents and kids. By turning everyday moments into games, you create a playful atmosphere that makes dealing with tough situations easier and more enjoyable.

And gamifying life during a chaotic moment will help your kids understand the situation in a fun and less intimidating way. Here’s how you do it:

Say, “Freeze! Let’s take some deep breaths and get back into balance.”
Together, you and your child take 5 deep breaths and blow out all the energy.
When you feel you are both back in balance, say, “Unfreeze.”
Move forward slowly, grounded, and in harmony.
Give them a high five or a hug.

This simple practice can transform those chaotic moments into opportunities for connection and calm. Both you and your child will be able to move forward feeling so much better. It’s like you freeze a bad mood, and you’re letting it melt away as you do these four steps.

Chill, You’ve Got This

Parenting can feel like a roller coaster ride, right? But guess what? It’s up to you whether you’ve got your hands in the air, laughing, and leaning into the ups and downs or not. Adding practices like the Freeze Game into your life can help when you need that reset with your kids.

It’s so important to remember that the goal isn’t to be perfect; it’s to be present. There’s no manual for the best parenting skills out there (believe me, I’ve looked). So, it’s time we focus on creating a space where our kids feel seen, heard, and supported. Adding more intention and mindfulness into our lives is possible and will help us enjoy and love the ride of parenting. We’ve got this!